How to Not Get Your Article Published

The Blue Monster of Scatterplot has some advice for people who do not want their articles to appear in academic journals:

  1. Cite Wikipedia (or any other encyclopedia) in your literature review or to provide historical background
  2. Starting your paper by referring to the dictionary definition of something

A nice piece of advice but I am troubled by one thing: Blue Monster calls his advice “love letters from the editor”. Love letters?

I’ll have to send you a love letter! Straight from my heart, fucker! You know what a love letter is? It’s a bullet from a fucking gun, fucker! You receive a love letter from me, and you’re fucked forever! You understand, fuck? I’ll send you straight to hell, fucker!…

Academic publishing just took a sinister turn.

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